I was drifting for half the night
Anxious and restless
pressed down by the darkness
Bound up and wound up so tight
So many decisions, a million revisions
Caught between darkness and light...
On the edge of sleep,
I heard voices behind the door
The known and the nameless
familiar and faceless
My angels and my demons at war
Which one will lose--depends on what I choose
Or maybe which voice I ignore...
Rush – Double Agent
These lyrics summarize in a nutshell the situation humans find themselves in regarding anything they face. Usually a man does not have purely positive or purely negative set of beliefs supporting or undermining his goals; it is usually a mixed bag, conflicting sets of beliefs. Some beliefs will supply him with truth and will give him all the arguments why he can succeed in something (positive cluster). Other beliefs will supply him with lies and all the arguments why he cannot succeed in the same thing (negative cluster).
This brings to my mind an old image of what people used to believe in, two angels sitting on each man’s shoulder. On the top of your right shoulder sits your angel, complete with a shiny halo and a pair of white wings, whispering truth to you. On your left shoulder sits your demon with his red horns, pitchfork and pointy tail, whispering lies to you. These two are always at work, constantly feeding you opinion about everything you see or encounter. Thee opinions are their spin out of the clusters of positive and negative beliefs you have.
If a woman stands in front of a mirror, her demon would point out the fat on her hip, the wrinkles around her eyes, or how she looks less desirable every day. At the same time, her angel will be pointing to the sparkle in her eyes, the fullness in her lips, and how she still has her allure and charm intact. This woman could take a few rollercoaster trips with these two voices going up and down on how she feels about herself. The way she feels about herself when she walks away from this mirror will be dependent on which voice she listened to and which one she ignored.
We don’t live in a vacuum; the voices we hear in our heads are mostly regurgitations of what we have heard from people around us and the society at large. These voices are also enforced every minute by every interaction we have. Imagine if this woman husband would come into the room, hugs her, and tells her how gorgeous she is. His opinion will immediately tip the balance in favor of the truth and she would feel great about her figure and looks. If, on the other hand, a friend of hers who is influenced by the fashion magazines and skinny trends comes into the room and says “OMG, you look fat”, she would immediately agree with her and feel bad about her figure because the balance would have been tipped in favor of the lies.
The direction of anything in anyone’s life is determined by that balance between the truth and lies you believe in. it is always the net sum of adding these two competing angel and demon voices together. In the areas where your life is going in the direction of where you would like it to go, you know that your angel had defeated your demon there. But when you start reprogramming your life, you know that you are entering a battle field where your demon is stronger than your angel. You need all the support you can get to face and defeat your demon and to win these battles. People around us are invaluable in this process because they can always tip the scale with their immediate feedback. But we all know that it is not always easy to get the support you need from the people who are physically around you.
This made me thinking of building a community of readers of this blog to support each other winning the battles we are facing no matter what the attitude of the people around us is. For this community to succeed, we don’t need to be too many, but we need to have a core of a small number of people who are willing and dedicated to helping others. My idea is to make everyone register under a made-up name to ensure anonymity and to give people freedom to share whatever they want to share. But before I take the trouble to build this community, I want to know how much interest is there in this idea. So I will put up a poll and I would ask each of you to answer with your honest opinion. If there is enough interest, I would go ahead and investigate the idea further, if not ….. then the idea is dead. I would appreciate everyone’s response.